When I first created this blog just over a year ago, I created it for the sole purpose of helping people through my writing. However, little did I know that I created it with the public eye in mind. In the back of my head, I was writing this blog to please people.
Eventually, it got so bad that I began to post much less frequently because I feared that what I wrote would not teach anyone anything and would not be read by anyone.
All while I was blinded by this mindset, little did I know that I was devastating God by writing for others instead of writing to Him and for Him. Don't get me wrong, I write about Biblical and Godly topics, but my motivation had become vain.
So God decided to do something about it. Before i even knew myself, he wired me to have the physical, emotional, and spiritual need to write. He made my brain so that I often think in terms of a third-person narrative (Seriously, I think "She walked down the cold, snow-dusted sidewalk towards Harshman Anderson-Bromfield Hall" about my own actions). By this point, this should have been as obvious to me as a bronze falcon statue on the north side of E. Wooster Street, but you know, I was paying attention to the sewer grate instead.
It took me a long time to realize it, but I finally listened to God and His megaphone and realized that i'm not here to write for others, I'm here to write for myself and Him, and through this process, others will be encouraged. Really, this is the only logical way for this to work, because if I keep on writing to please others, I literally might not be able to survive.
I really can't be in fear of others' opinions anymore. President Herbert Hoover once said, "Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself --- nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." Hoover (or, in other words, his speech writer) was incredibly spot-on with this claim. I am letting something that doesn't exist hold me back, and if I let it hold me back anymore, I'm going to be really angry about how blind and stupid I was.
And either way, God wasn't going to let it hold me back anymore. So, here's to the future days of doing what I love to do, and hopefully helping and encouraging people along the way. I'm going to love to write even more because I'm going to have no fear of others' opinions. I'm going to write about my life and pray that it relates to yours. Maybe i'll take a break and eat some fried chicken, and then resume the process that sweeps me into the arms of the Lord as I grow closer to Him. This is what I was made for.