You see, over this past year, God has been slowly pushing me towards the realization that I may be best suited to enter the ministry field when I graduate college.
For my close family who is finding this out right now through this post, please don’t feel offended! This really isn’t something I’ve been sharing with many people. I’ve only been talking about it with a few close friends here In Colorado as I have come to this realization. And I also want to be honest with you- this may very well be the direction my life will go in.
Anyways, as I began to realize this, I was a little upset because ministry is such a broad field. You see, I’m the kind of person who likes to focus my efforts in one specific area- I don’t like to spread my abilities all over, I would rather develop them in one area, so me asking God where he wanted me specifically in ministry was a huge deal to me.
And of course, He answered me- Let me tell you, it is such a blessing to have a faithful God. Although we may not always see how he is faithful to our prayers, he still is, even though we are unable to see it. For these two things are true:
Hebrews 10:23- “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.”
1 Corinthians 13:12- “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”
So, in many ways, God is always faithful to us. This is a season in my life where I am able to see God being faithful to my prayers in abundance, and it has been awesome.
God’s answer to my prayer was actually not surprising- I might have already known what he was going to tell me in my subconscious mind, but He hadn’t specifically revealed it to me yet.
This happened when I was talking to my friend Michelle one night about what we had been learning at LT. Michelle really has a heart for women’s ministry, so much of what she talked about was about women’s ministry and how excited she was to learn about how to serve in this field.
As she was talking to me, I began to feel a want to know where God wanted me specifically in ministry. Mind you, this had actually happened numerous times before in our conversations, so this time, we looked into it.
She asked me, “What are you passionate about?” and my first natural response was of course, the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
For those of you who don’t know, my Dad grew up in the Upper Peninsula (UP), so every summer since I can remember, we have always vacationed there, and made lots of memories there as a family. It’s a really special place to me, and partially because it reminds me of my dad, who passed away when I was 16.
So naturally, this brought up my dad. From that point on, Michelle began to talk about having a heart for the fatherless. I don’t remember everything she said, but I do remember her being really excited about my life and the purpose God had for me.
It was honestly a really interesting experience, because what happened was that Michelle was way more excited for my calling in ministry than I was, which I knew was God speaking through her to reach me. As I’ve said before (I think), God speaks to me through people, and this was absolutely a testament to that alone. Michelle being excited for me was God telling me that He is so excited for the destiny he’s given my life. How awesome is that!?
But i’ll be honest with you, my reaction was kind of dull. I knew that this made complete sense- my father had passed away 3 years ago, and because of that experience, I would be able to help those who were going through the same thing.
Not only that, but I can help people who have issues with their fathers- you see, someone doesn’t actually have to lose their father to be fatherless- a father could be emotionally absent, physically absent, or could just not be as involved with his children’s lives as he should be.
So, I know that with what I have experienced, God has crafted me to have a heart for the fatherless. Don’t get me wrong, this is really awesome, but right now, I just don’t have that passion in my heart yet, and to be honest with you, I’m not sure why. You’d think that after 3 years God would be able to grow that passion in me fully, but I guess it wasn’t his timing.
And that is something else I’m learning too. God does things on his own timing. Right now, I don’t believe that I’m completely healed from this yet. I know this because last summer, I thought I was fine, but God proved me wrong when I went to Michigan. I probably cried for the entire first week.
So, now that I know God does things on his own timing, I know he’s going to bring this issue up more fully in the future so that I may heal from it when he intends me to, and this also means that he’s going to give me a passion for it on his own timing too.
This is a very strange place to be in, to know what you were made to be passionate about, but to not fully have that passion yet. Again, it all comes down to Proverbs 3:5-6- I have to trust God with this completely.
And what’s really cool is that everything has been lining up for me to grow in this area of ministry. In my project group, almost everyone has some type of dad problem. One of the girls in my life group has gone through a hurtful situation involving her dad, and I have been able to help her through some things involving that very closely.
In addition, I get to go through a 5-week workshop that talks about the beauty of pain, and there are probably numerous other things that God has put into place for me to grow in this area.
Right now, I know God has told me this so that I can begin to prepare for the future, even though the passion in my heart is not fully on fire yet.
Regardless, I am really excited for this. As I continue to grow in my relationship with Jesus, I’m noticing that I’m gaining a greater sense of destiny for my life, which is such a blessing! And I know I’m not the only one. This sense of destiny comes with growth in a relationship with Jesus, which is a wonderful thing.
Genesis 50:19-20- “But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”